New York Minute
by miyame-chan
Summary: In an instant, everything is gone. But they remain in Olivia's head, on loop like a broken record and she looks on as the towers collapse, taking with them everything she knew and loved.


The first time I heard of the September 11 attack was when I was really young. The rest of my family and I tagged with my dad for a company field trip and on the bus, they played a movie about the attack. My dad explained to me what it was all about and still being a child that didn't like stories that involved dying—especially based on true ones—I was left shaken up. Honestly, I still am.

So this is dedicated to all the victims and the families who have experienced the horrible effects of the attack.

Sadly, I do not own The Clique. :):

* * *

New York Minute

Unlike children her age, Olivia Ryan always liked going to the dentist. She never really understood what the deal with them was—sure, they wielded those cleaning instruments with those hooked ends that in the wrong hands could cause a lot of bleeding, but it was all for the sake of healthy teeth. Besides, Olivia always thought that a trip to the dentist was a good excuse to take a break from school.

So there she was, sitting on the cushy dental chair, her legs dangling over the edge as she waited for the dentist to arrive. She hummed a small tune she learned from Music class, picking at her nails. Several seconds into this, she already decided she was bored and wandered off to the big window overlooking the North tower.

Her surgeon father worked at one of the first few floors of the World Trade Center just like most non-financial related businesses—but sometimes some exceptions were made. This clinic was located at the fifteenth floor, so if Olivia looked down she would feel dizziness wash over her and if craned her neck up she would almost see the top of the North Tower.

The funny thing about it was how the sky seemed darker than it had been earlier. Olivia squinted up at the heavens and saw the outline of an airplane. Her eyes lit up, wishing she was on that ride. It was probably better than dying of boredom from waiting for the late dentist. If they were going to Florida, that would be nice. Or how about something more exotic, like the Bahamas or... Her eyebrows crinkled in confusion. Why was the plane headed for the North tower?

Olivia pressed her palms against the glass, trying to get a better look. From across the tower, she thought she could see others doing the same. Their faces mirrored her expression of confusion and panic.

"M-Mom," Olivia called out, her widened blue eyes still trained on the plane. It was going faster now, and she wasn't sure if it was her imagination or not, but she was hearing screams from the inside. "There's this—"

For a split second she swore the ground shook as the plane collided with the building, causing a screeching noise to fill her ears.

Olivia let out a cry and stumbled back into the chair, knocking over a water-filled paper cup. Her mother rushed in and upon seeing the crumbling building, she carried her daughter out of the room and the dentist's assistant was right behind them. The assistant was frantically calling the dentist and Olivia's mother was doing the same with 911.

"911, what is the emergency?"

"A plane just crashed into the North tower of the World Trade Center!"

As her mother continued to scream into the phone, Olivia only blinked back tears. All around her, people were becoming hysterical to the point she couldn't hear the frenzied beating of her heart. She couldn't even force herself to scream; her breathing was becoming heavy and she clutched her mom's shirt tighter.

But Olivia paid no attention. The plane crashing into the tower was all she could see, all she could hear. (_Whiz, crash, boom! _Everything was on loop, repeating and repeating like a broken record. The screams she was hearing in real time added to the effect of a horrible remix.)

Workers had already gone out of their offices. Everyone was tripping over each other to either get a better view of the burning building or to run for the crowded elevators and emergency exits. Her mother was shoving people out of the way and poor little Olivia was trying to convince herself that it was all a freaky accident.

_They will be fine... right?_

Suddenly, another _boom _resounded. All forms of action ceased; everything so silent and so still as everyone waited for the next second. Shrieks pierced the air and Olivia watched in horror as the ceiling rained down on them.

Finally, she found the voice to scream.

oo00oo

Everything was consumed in blackness.

Olivia struggled to stand and when she did, her whole body screamed in pain. _Where am I? _She stayed still for a while, clenching and unclenching her fists as she tried to remember what had happened.

_The ceiling got destroyed... we ran... the... we lost the assistant. We ran some more and we already reached the first floor. There was praying and singing and... why was everybody panicking? Because the building was hit. Hit by what?_

She couldn't even form coherent thoughts! Her head was pounding, as if it hurt her to even think. She attempted to adjust her position, but she couldn't. She was trapped under rubble and it was getting harder for her to breathe.

_Am I gonna die soon?_

At the thought of this, her eyes sprang with tears. No, she didn't want to die. Not like this. How was she going to get out of this, though? She was only a nine-year-old girl after all.

Olivia weakly clawed at the cracked pavement and immediately stopped when she realized that it was only going to destroy her soft nails to the point of bleeding. So instead, she hugged her body and just closed her eyes, letting the darkness envelop her again.

Her heart was thudding loudly against her chest and salty tears were streaming down her face. Why was this happening? All she wanted was to go to the dentist and it lead to her getting trapped alone.

Alone... Where was Mommy?

"Mom," she softly called out. Olivia thought she could hear someone desperately shouting her name but she wasn't sure. "Help me..."

Her eyes still shut, she mumbled a short prayer. She did her best to recite a _Hail Mary_ but she kept stumbling at the words. A vague memory returned and a soft song started to play in her head. It wasn't the happy tune from Music class, no, she had heard someone singing earlier. Even if she didn't know why someone sang in the middle of this, the singer's soothing voice calmed her. So she decided to hum instead, thinking it would calm her again, but every time Olivia tried to mimic the melody, she'd end up gasping for breath. The fright she was feeling was not allowing her to do anything properly.

Just when she was already convinced that nobody would find her, she heard a scraping sound. She opened a teary eye, and sure enough, someone was removing the rubble on top of her. Olivia felt someone tugging at her legs and slowly but surely she was being pulled out of the mess.

"Olivia!" Her mother exclaimed from behind the fireman delicately carrying her. "My little girl, she's safe!" The older blonde ran sobbing to her daughter and gently caressed her face. "Let's get out of here, okay?"

Olivia cringed at the burst of bright light but nodded and stared up at the fireman carrying her. His eyes were fierce with determination and she liked that. It gave her a sense of hope.

"Come on, we're almost near the exit." The man led the way out and her mother ran as fast as her frail legs could take her. Everywhere they passed by was starting to be consumed by flames. Fire alarms rang in Olivia's ears, only making her condition worse. She was so tired and limp she wished that everything would be over soon. Her eyes felt heavy and practically everything was starting to blur but she was sure she saw the fireman's sooty face light up. "Come on, we're near! Let's go!"

He picked up speed and Olivia clung to him tighter. Soon, this nightmare would be over. From beside them, a yelp came out of her mother as she fell flat on the cracked ground. "Mommy!" Olivia protested.

"No, just go!" She simply smiled in return, pushing herself up with shaky arms. "Just go. Don't worry, you'll be fine."

"I'm sorry, little girl," the fireman mumbled and before Olivia could think of the meaning of those words, her mother was out of sight as they ran out of the building. "Alright, somebody take care of this girl! There are still some people left behind in there. I need to go back and help them out."

_"Wait, Mommy!"_ Olivia kicked and screamed with the remaining energy she had left as she was transferred into the arms of a different person. "Go get her! Help her! Anybody!" The fireman rushed back into the burning building and Olivia finally stopped resisting. She craned her neck up the way she did when she was still in the clinic, watching the red flames mixing with the blues and whites in the sky.

She could only look on helplessly as the building caved in, taking with it the world she knew and loved.

oo00oo

Olivia woke up two days later with a broken nose and a brain damage.

She tried to sit up but immediately gave up. Her head was throbbing painfully yet again and her face felt both light and heavy at same time, like something was squished into it. She swallowed and tasted vomit. Her throat was rasping for water; dry and useless. Her eyes were still adjusting to the light but she thought she saw someone sitting at the corner of the hospital room.

"D-Daaddy...?" Olivia croaked, wincing a little. She spoke, mostly to confirm the person's identity, but also to test out her voice. It was a bad decision, she then realized. Her throat was so dry it hurt her to speak.

"Olivia?" The man looked up, a small smile on his face. He walked over the bed and she realized that he was in an arm cast. "How are you feeling?"

"It... hurts," she managed.

"Don't worry, you'll be patched up in no time." He forced another smile and reached out to touch the blonde's face before abruptly stopping, as if that simple action would cause her more pain.

"What happened to you?"

"Oh, this? It's fine. Just give me a few weeks and I can start working again. We'll be fine, I know it!" Olivia's dad assured, not only to his daughter but to himself too.

She hesitantly nodded. There was something about his sad smile that made her worry. And what did he mean by "We'll be fine"? Was there something wrong? Something wrong with Olivia? How about her mother? "Where's Mom?"

"Your... Mom?" His smile wavered but didn't totally disappear. "She's... in a better place now, sweetheart."

Olivia blinked, trying to comprehend. "A better place. Like an executive suite of the hospital?"

"Close. Although I guess you could say that the one taking care of her right now is better than a doctor,"

Olivia was confused. She always believed that all types of doctors were one of the best people in the world, always sacrificing time to relieve their patients.

"Who is better than a doctor?"

Her father shook her head. "You better go to sleep now, Olivia. Maybe that could numb whatever you're feeling right now."

"But Mom—"

"Is in a better place, as I've said," he cut off. "Get some rest now. Remember that no matter where we are, your mother and I love you, alright?"

Olivia reluctantly agreed. It was only when she closed her eyes and the images of the fiery building and the brave fireman rushing back into the building to save her mother and others who were left behind flashed through her mind she allowed the tears to fall.

oo00oo

_What if I didn't get stuck under the rubble? What if we didn't choose that morning appointment? What if Mommy didn't trip? What if we didn't leave her behind? _

_...Would she still be alive?_

More often than not, Olivia would wake up in the middle of the night. Sometimes to sound of her ear-splitting screams, sometimes to the blaring of Cartoon Network, but never to the voices of news anchors who repeatedly report on the September 11 attack. Everyone wanted to remember while all she ever wanted was to forget. Was it too much to ask?

She couldn't decide whether it was better to stay awake or asleep. The crashing plane and raging fire plagued her sleep and when morning came, she'd be forced to face the fact about her mother's death.

So she'd just end up awake, curled up in her bed, sobbing as she forced herself to forget.

oo00oo

Olivia stepped out of her family's Lexus, letting her older brother, Andy, go ahead. She looked around the stones sticking out of the overgrown grass and found herself forcing down a cry.

They've been doing this for three years and yet she still wasn't used to it.

"Miss?" Their driver poked his head out the window, wondering why the girl was still standing beside the car. "Are you sure you don't want me to go with you?"

"What? I mean, no... Yeah, it's okay."

"Olivia!" She whipped her head back and saw Andy motioning for her to follow. "Come on!"

She nodded at the driver and weaved through the maze of gravestones and thick trees. When she finally spotted her brother, he was standing in front of their mother's grave, the bouquet of striped carnations already neatly arranged on the ground. As she approached Andy, she heard him sniffle a little.

"Andy...?"

Her brother looked up and he wiped the tears away. "Hey, you're here. I was just finishing up, so it's your turn." He ended the sentence with a brave smile and stepped back.

Out of the Ryan family, it was actually Andy who was the most affected. He wasn't there during the attack; the last time he came in contact with their mother was the night before, only giving her a quick kiss and a hug since he needed to prepare for a game the following day. When he learned about their mother's death, he was devastated but only visited her grave twice a year: on September 11 and All Soul's Day. Just like the whole family, he couldn't stand being with their mother's body buried six feet under.

"Hi, Mom," Olivia softly greeted, kneeling down.

She wrapped her faux fur shawl tightly around her, even if it was a mid-afternoon September. There was just something about cemeteries that made her cold, and visiting their mother always reminded her how sick she felt being buried under that pile of concrete and bricks.

"So, um, Dad can't make it today because of an emergency anointment—I mean appointment. Emergency appointment. He said he'll come tomorrow first thing in the morning. I hope you're not mad or anything, you know how important this is to him,"

Even if it's been so long since the incident, they were still suffering from the aftermath. Businesses around and located in the World Trade Center had been forced to close. That meant many families were low on money—and the Ryans hadn't been an exception to that. Olivia had to cut back with the designer brands, and there was even a time when her father thought of dropping his two children out of school due to lack of money. It had been_ that_ bad.

Now it's been three years and they were better. Still struggling, but better.

"I hope you're really in a better place now, Mom," she continued, her throat tight. "We've been trying to cope with everything that had happened but... it's so hard. We're really trying to do our best, I swear..."

"Olivia," Andy warned.

Olivia sniffled before carefully wiping her hand with the back of her runny nose. Right. Her nose. Her new and improved nose. "Sorry," she mumbled. She forgot how she shouldn't do anything to damage the operated part. "I had another nose surgery, Mom. 'Bout two weeks ago. I really didn't to but Dad insisted. Something went wrong with the first procedure, he told me." Another breathy pause. Then, "You know the reason why I didn't want to, Mom? It's because my classmates are making fun of me. They call me a fake. But I'm not a fake, right?"

From behind her, Andy went rigid, clenching his fists. "Of course you're not," he spat out. "Don't—"

"Don't listen to them, I know," she finished, looking back at his with a rueful smile. "Guess I'm not a dumb blonde, after all."

"You never were," he grumbled. "They don't know what you've been through."

Olivia gulped. "I know. I just... _ugh_." She let out a frustrated sigh, turning her blue eyes to her mother's gravestone. "It's so unfair! How come almost everyone I know has a mom in their life and I don't?" She asked, almost screaming. "They have someone to turn to for girl problems, someone who understands them. And I don't!" She bent over, shaky sobs coming out of her. "I miss you, Mom."

She exhaled and pulled herself up, rubbing her eyes. When she finally composed herself, she nodded towards her brother and turned to leave. She looked up at the bright afternoon sky and flashes of the flames mixing with the whites and the blues—memories she tried so hard to forget—came back to her. "And I promise, Mom," she mumbled to herself, "I'll never forget."

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It's a day early but my First Term exams start tomorrow so I decided to do publish this already, but it will be edited over the weekend. Thanks for reading!

Any comments, suggestions, or violent reactions? If so, you know what to do.


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